I am blessed to have a wonderful set of in-laws. We talk on the phone, have regular family dinners, and even go shopping together on occasion. Though I am close to my in-laws, there are certain boundaries I like to keep between us.
For example, I ask my in-laws to call well in advance before coming over, rather than surprising me at my doorstep. I ask that they allow me to make my own decisions when it comes to parenting my children or my relationship with my spouse. Making these boundaries crystal clear helps avoid confrontations and aggravations. I am entitled to my privacy and I protect myself from frustration when I voice my concerns and demand my space.
At times, I do notice that my in-laws try to slip their way into our lives more than I would like. When this happens, I generally advise them that I appreciate their advice and expertise. However, I am free to make my own decisions and choose what I think is best for the course of our lives.I protect our relationship because it is very important to me. However, I gently, but firmly, communicate my feelings when they try to manipulate me into doing things their way.
Today, I assess my comfort zone. I implement boundaries in order to keep our relationship thriving rather than feeling invasive.
Self-Reflection Questions:
1. Do I allow my in-laws to manipulate me into saying "yes"?
2. How can I lovingly encourage my spouse to respect the boundaries we set with our families?
3. Am I comfortable with the relationship my spouse has with my in-laws?
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